Looking into the fire
by Safe-haven Shea
Summary: The detective who is Looking into the fire


As the fire looked hard so crazy, so fast, the young man just looked into the fire, He was trying to forget everything that happened, he is trying to lived again, He just saw the fire, he cried, Then he just sat down, just looked at the fire, he didn't want to fee anymore, that night, he didn't, he just sleep by the fire, he had his blanket, sleeping bag, he just sleep by the fire, where he just feel safe, where nothing could harm him ever. When everything in the world tried too, including now when he is cop, while trying to survived everything, where he sleeps outside by the fire, in his truck. Does have apartment, where he goes to change, to shower, to sleep, when it rains. Where nothing could hurt him, he was solider, who seen bad things too. Where he has scar on his face, a little one, where no one could see it, that night, he just sleeps and watch the fire.

Morning came, when he woke up, he just smiled, he had to leave for work, but didn't know that this day would change him for good, then he left, went to change. Then he changes in his dark clothes, he drove to work, he hits the keys, walked in, saw them, sat down. Then few minutes later, it happened, they got a call and everyone walked out. Minute later, he arrived at the place, there was a fire in old build, where two bodies were found, we can't get to them, Then the firefighters, cops, decide to go into together, look for them. Then Five people went in, started to look round, then the cops found the bodies, the fire was everywhere in sight, the firefighters were able stop the fire, then they stop it, everyone got out of the place all but one.

The detective just stayed in the build, just watch the fire stayed on. He just sat down, while he saying, I'm coming home. The others detective and serge and captain and fighters wondering what's going on? But didn't know he had his radio on, he was started to talk, everyone heard him.

This is detective Jay Michael Halstead, I'm sitting here, watching the most amazing thing in my life, the fire that goes in and out, it's beautiful, I have seen this before, when I was in the war, where I lost my friends, some people who I missed now. Where I got this scar from. Where I lost my late fiancé's and child in bombing too. Where I was lost in fire, then found. Then I came back home, where I tried to committed suicide about three times. Where the one time It almost happened. Then I came here to be cop. Lately I have been having depression problems, I sleep by the fire, in the back of my truck. I feel more alive here. I can't go back as the person I was before. I have PTSD, I'm going through it now. That's why I'm saying I'm coming home. I'm lost right now, I feel I need to do this. Please don't come in, it's time for me to go, I started to plan my death long time ago, when I first came home. Then I realize today is the day I will died. The day I will be free again. So goodbye, just leave. Then he sat down, he just watches the fire, he felt better and safer than ever. Then he just cried too.

Meanwhile outside, everyone looked so shock by this, they had to do something before they lose him now. Then they called Dr Charles Lamb, a shrink. Then He and dr Wong and his brother came by there, he said: where is he? He is in the building, wanted to died. Dr. Charles said: no wonder he hasn't seen me in months. Then someone came running and it was mouse, he said: where is he, where is my best friend? He is in there, doesn't want to leave, he just watch the fire. Oh no, he can't leave the place where he feels the fire the most. The place where he feels it. Then they just waited there, had to do something soon. They just waited for the fire to be let down, so they can grab him right now, but the fire isn't coming down right now.

They just saw everything there, including things on the radio from him, he was saying this on the radio, He said: I was lost before and then I was found by the fire, the fire saved me, I feel everything towards it, I live my truck, so I can be by the fire. I see what it can do. I see it kill people and burn too. But I see from it, is the freedom from it, the freedom to lived again. I haven't lived in long time since then. I was not the person I was going to be. I knew I would die young and this way too. I see my death before when I was trapped in the fire in the war. Where my Claire rose and our unborn child was killed, I held them when they left this earth only my mother knew this. Not my father, never him, he used to beat us so bad, but scared to leave him. But she did. I went with her, while my brother Will stayed with him. Our sister went with us. She hasn't seen him in years. I haven't seen him in years either, I just can't yet. Then he said: I'm going home to be with my mother Hellen and my family I lost in the war, the life that I needed. I just let me go, I need to leave I want to leave my life here. Then he stop talking.

Everyone heard that, they looked so shocked by that, now they know that he is suffering from illness, he is suicidal too. Then Charles lamb said: I think he is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. What is that? Someone who doesn't want to feel anything and does wrong things too.


End file.
